Because Christmas is near, ‘triggers’ may currently be playing an important role in our grief journey. Empty spaces that were once filled with the bright presence of our Loved One may now be filled with sadness.
These triggers can be associated with many of our senses, for example: the memories of our Loved One’s physical being, the sound of their voice, their scent, and their touch.
Here are some of the ways we fill the void of our Loved One’s absence at this time of year:
We create, or find a symbol or token that represents an intimacy with our Loved One, and we place it nearby
1) If we choose a candle, we notice its strength and radiance, and how it surrenders itself as it lights our way.
2) If we choose a photograph, we look beyond the face or setting, into a wonderful time that we and our Loved One once shared.
3) If we choose a flower, we notice its smile, its beauty, and its perfection, and how it reflects our Loved One who is now whole, beautiful, and perfect in our heart.
4) If we choose a personal keepsake, we tell ourselves the story about this token of remembrance, and if we are okay with it, we share the story with others.
5) If we choose a certificate/trophy, we celebrate this reward as a symbol of all the things our Loved One achieved in their lifetime.
6) If we choose an ornament, we bring this ornament to life in our mind, as it connects us to our Loved One.
7) If we choose a bench, we sit on the bench, leaving a space for our Loved One, with the knowledge that like all souls, we and our Loved Ones are never alone.
We look for connections
We look around during these spirited and dispirited times, and we try to find ways to feel connected to our Loved One, for example: in the children’s smiles, in the twinkling lights, in the fire’s warmth, and in the symphony of carols.
We draw strength from the colours of this celebration/season
We decorate our surroundings with colours that resonate with us:
Red is an intense colour that represents our power, and love.
Gold represents courage, passion, magic, and wisdom.
Green signifies growth, renewal, and rebirth, and it also restores depleted energy and brings one back to health.
We play music that resonates with our Loved One’s memory
Music releases happy little peace-giving messenger molecules in our bodies, which transport us back to spend time with our Loved One, in a wonderful faraway landscape; so sunny, so enchanting.
Our hearts are always open to receiving wonderful memories of our Loved Ones, and rejoicing in the powerful impact they had, and continue to have, on our beautiful world.
Love for our Loved Ones continues on through all life’s sadness and celebrations. It is timeless.
Read more about how we remain loyal to each other, in life and in death, in the book Sigh, We Inhale Obstacles and We Exhale a Life of Love.
